Friday, April 30, 2010

It is Important To Discuss Your Sexual History.

In just about any kind of relationship, honesty is one of the qualities that many people want, hands down. After all, who doesn’t want a truthful, genuine and honest partner? These traits are very important, particularly in an individual’s sexual relationship with another person. While sex for some may only mean fun and games, for a lot of people it is an expression not only of love and passion, but of trust as well.

Only a very few singles today uphold virginity, so it’s no surprise when a person who becomes involved in yet another relationship has already been sexually active before. Thus, it is essential to talk about each other’s sexual history before making your way into the bedroom and into each other’s pants.

Discussing each other’s sexual histories can be quite uncomfortable, but it is one topic that can be very helpful in making or breaking your relationship. Of course there’s no need to have a list of one’s former sexual partners – the point of this discussion is to be fully aware if your partner has a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) or has ever been exposed to one.

A sexually active person must always remember that one’s health and safety should always come first, and engaging in sexual activity with another person can always lead to certain health risks that could have been avoided in the first place. It is easy to be blinded and be naive in the initial stages of a relationship, especially if one is “head over heels” with his/her partner.

However, it is important to be somewhat cautious than to have blinding trust with a person early on. A lot of people have paid the price for looking at their partner through a rose-colored glass: everything is absolutely sweet and romantic and new, and it seems that nothing can go wrong.

Unfortunately for some, being completely trusting only paves the way for trouble, since a lot of people have no qualms about lying about their feelings and sexual history just to get someone to bed. Keeping one’s eyes and ears open is not being irrationally suspicious; it is actually a wise approach when coming into a new relationship that could turn out to be not-so-perfect after all.

Young or old, it is always sensible to have safe sex. A lot of people think that having protected sex is only for one-night stands and paid escorts, never for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. This is a usual misconception, and quite a number have learned the value of using a condom or any protective device.

Sure, putting on a condom may be cumbersome, and may lessen the pleasurable sensation during intercourse for a few. But hey, it’s a small price to pay for ensuring your wellbeing and health, right? The distress and anxiety that Sexually Transmitted Infections can cause will definitely overshadow the inconvenience of using a condom or any protection.

Keeping healthy and safe nowadays is essential, especially with the growing cases of AIDS, HIV, STD’s and STI’s. Although more people are becoming vigilant and advocate safe sex, there are still a lot who go on having multiple partners and unprotected sex. It is always sensible to know your partner’s sexual history and to know the truth; at the end of the day, it’s all up to you when it comes to safe sex.

You Can Handle An Open Relationship.

Open relationships are otherwise known as polygamous or polyamorous relationships. It is defined as a situation wherein couples go into mutual agreement to date and engage in sexual activity with other people although they still continue being in a relationship with each other. In the past, those who blatantly disregarded the definition of monogamy were called swingers.

Nowadays, however, a lot of rules in relationships have evolved, and the number of people in open relationships has increased dramatically. Although it has been something that was frowned upon back in the days, the social embarrassment that used to go along with being engaged in polyamory has seen a significant drop, not only among singles but among those involved in a committed relationship, even marriage.

It might seem like a novel idea but it actually has been around for quite some time already. While some people don’t see a problem with this kind of arrangement, polygamy and open relationships can still throw up some prickly issues and is no doubt never for the fainthearted. Can an open relationship survive in the long run, and what are its benefits and downsides? One of the premises of the concept of an open relationship is that it can enhance a couple’s trust, role flexibility, personal freedom and growth, and most especially introduce the idea of love and sex without the jealousy.

Some couples who are involved in it even maintain that it can in fact spice up an otherwise monotonous and lacklustre marriage. As much as it can do wonders to a marriage, it still can’t be denied that being involved in this kind of partnership has also its own share of threats, especially when it comes to health concerns.

Having multiple sexual partners can significantly increase the likelihood of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or infection. It is a common notion that gays and lesbians are particularly prone to these problems, but the prevalence of polygamy has radically increased even among heterosexual individuals. Also, there is always the possibility of getting pregnant, because sex is alive and kicking, just as it is even in the conventional, monogamous type of relationship.

Another major issue in an open relationship may be abandonment. There is always the concern that some people might steal or take one’s partner away if one permits other people to have sexual contact with him/her. likewise is the element of competition, because the partner may get a far better end of the bargain just because he/she is more gregarious and attractive, going out every night with a new date while you’re stuck at home, watching reruns of Friends just because you are the less attractive one.

Open relationships ultimately require an enormous level of honesty and maturity just like that of a monogamous couple, although the amount of communication needed to overcome problems are far greater and can be more draining. The topic of polygamy is a hot one nowadays, although it is definitely unresolved and debatable.

It may work for some people while others may find it hard to get past its sexual implications. Ultimately, monogamy or polygamy, every relationship has its own set of innate difficulties. Challenges are always part of the package, and it’s mostly up to the couple and the level of commitment they share in making things work.

Ageing and Sex – Changes in sexuality and compensating these changes

Ageing is the natural process of your body. It takes a toll on the health of a person and many a times affects the sexual life of a person. But, this does not mean that a person in his old age needs to stop having sex. A few changes here and there and seniors are as ready to enjoy sex as their young counterparts.

Older adults and sex – It’s good for them

For older adults, sex can be pleasurable and also act as a therapy. This is true for both men and women. Sexual activity in adults stimulates the release of various substances that not only help strengthen the immune system but also provide relief from pain. The release of substances like endorphins also helps alleviate stress and anxiety. As sex is a physical activity, regular sex helps improve breathing and blood circulation. This helps relax the body and as a result the person experiences a feeling of satisfaction. This is great news for older adults as their bodies need all the relaxation that they can get.

Sex is not just for the young

You might have a misconception that sex is only for the young and not for the old. People on the wrong side of forty start worrying about their ability to perform in bed and their non performance, at times, is blamed on their age. People tend to back away from sexual activity because of advanced age. But this is a wrong way of going about things. When you are young, a case can be made for your sexual performance being more vigorous, but this does not mean that you can’t perform adequately if you are no longer young. Age interferes with your sexuality only if you allow it to have an effect on your thoughts and attitude towards sex. Both, ageing men and women can lead satisfying sex lives, if they take proper care and work around their age related problems.

Ageing and changes in our sexuality

Young sexuality is more physical as compared to sexuality in older people. Due to ageing, people develop more awareness about their sexuality and tend to explore it better. Physical sexuality at times can take a back seat, as men and women age, and sex develops an emotional significance. Various changes occur in your body, which affects your sexuality.

* Changes in Women


Most of the changes occurring in women during middle age are a result of a decrease in the production of hormones. Some of these changes are actually symptoms of menopause in women. These include low levels of sexual desire, sleeping trouble, dry skin, vaginal dryness, vaginal itching, behavioural changes, excess weight and an increased tendency to feel hungry. These changes affect the sex life of women. But they aren’t changes that cannot be worked around.

* Changes in men


As men get older, they start to experience erection problems. They find it difficult to get an erection or sustain it for a longer time. This is a normal occurrence and most men experience this problem at some point of time in their life, irrespective of whether they are young or old. Men also tend to suffer from heart trouble, which can also affect their sex lives. Even men can suffer from a loss of libido, and might lose interest in sex because of various reasons; however, these changes can be worked around.



Compensating the changes

Modern medicine and therapeutic procedures have an answer for many conditions that men or women are susceptible to, in old age. There are specific treatment options available that can help both men and women enjoy sex even in their old age.

* For women


As a woman, you might be suffering from the symptoms of menopause. In such cases, it’s important to gain awareness about these symptoms and talk to your doctor about them. If you are suffering from vaginal dryness, you can sort out the problem by using a water based lubricant during sex. A more long term solution can be in the form of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) which includes tablets and topical solutions amongst other things. There are also various alternative therapies available in the form of herbal pills, devices and exercises that can help your manage your age related problems.


* For men


If you are experiencing erectile difficulty, you can treat the symptoms using prescription erectile dysfunction medications. Low libido can be treated by reading erotic literature and finding new ways of stimulation amongst various others things. It’s important for older men to stop focussing on their performance in bed and put more importance on enjoying their sexual activity. Eating healthy and being physically active is also one of the ways of remaining fit and enjoying sex as you grow older.



Improving your sex life

Improving your sex life is about addressing your health concerns and working around these problems to have a satisfying sex life. You will first need to recognize the fact that you are experiencing certain changes that are affecting your sex life. You can then identify the problem area and seek a solution for it. You need to discuss your problems with your partner and work towards a solution together. In order to improve your sex life, you don’t need to judge yourself too harshly. You need to understand that such problems are natural and most people of your age are prone to having these problems. Don’t panic and put pressure on your body to perform. Putting such pressure might just exacerbate your problem further. There are effective medical treatment options available for most conditions, so all you need to do is speak with your doctor. Your doctor is the best person to help you search for a solution to your problem.